Close Quarters
by Smudge93
Summary: Two Winchesters. One Pipe. You do the math!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Just a little something to hopefully make you smile. A little conversation between the boys after Sam gets stuck in a pipe on the job and Dean tries to go in and rescue him.

Just dialogue in this one, hope you can follow who is who.

Little bit predictable and a little bit naughty too!

"How did you ever think that your giant shoulders where gonna fit through here."

"I got in, I just couldn't get the right angle to turn so that I could get back out. Didn't ask you to crawl in here after me."

"Yeah, you did! How else was I supposed to reach you?"

"Dean, really you're gonna have to move that hand."

"Why?"

"Why? Why?" 'Cos of where it is man."

"Where is it, what is that I'm touching? Oh God, is that a zip?"

"If you don't know what that is, it really is you that's a girl! Your head's on my stomach man, guess where your friggin' hand is."

"Shit! Sorry. Crap, can't move it dude, my sleeve is stuck."

"Fine, I'll move then."

"Sam! Don't move up!"

"Well I can't exactly move the other way with you in the road."

"Yeah but Sam…said it yourself dude, my face is on your stomach. if you move up, it isn't going to my hand that squashing your nuts. Brightside though, my hand would be covering my eyes."

"What? Crap. I swear you move that hand in anyway but off of me…."

"Try the grill again."

"It's STUCK Dean, that why I asked you to SEE if you could get up along side me and help, not just force yourself onto me."

"Never had to force myself on anyone dude, ouch, that hurt! Dude, quit hitting me man or see that hand you're worrying about…!"

"Just, just…do something Dean, turn, move back down….anything!"

"I can't move down, the other grill shut behind me."

"So we're both stuck now?"

"Yeah and since I can't bend my knee to get a good kick at it, the only way out is up. Try it again!"

"Dean, what part of it's stuck aren't you getting? Watch your hand!"

"Sam! It's dark, I can't see shit so I can only feel my way about. Jesus I feel as if I'm in a picture hall trying to get to 3rd base."

"Well you're not! Wait? 3rd Base? In public?"

"Hey, what can I say, the movie was boring. Wait, I'll try and turn."

"DEAN! HAND!"

"Shit, sorry, sorry."

"Ouch."

"Dean!"

"Sam turn so we're back to back."

"Dude are you cuddling me?"

"No asswipe, my sleeve is caught, **turn the other way!" **

"Sorry. That better?"

"Yeah but watch your knees Sammy, I'd really like to be able to still to have the option of having kids when we get out of here."

"Huh?"

"The jewels Sammy, watch the friggin' jewels!"

"Sorry. Ok, I'm round. Is that your arm I'm on?"

"Bet you're hoping it is."

"Dean."

"It's my arm, don't worry, I got another one. I'm gonna try turning now, Jesus Sam stop wriggling your ass in my face man!"

"Hurry up then! Wait Dean, can you not push me into the wall?"

"I'm sorry Sammy, wait and I'll breathe in! Dude, you're crushing my hand! And that is so, so….I'm gonna need therapy by the time we get outta here."

"Your not the one with his brother's hand squashing his package. Did you just snort?"

"Yeah. Package? No wonder you can't get laid if you call it that. Besides, this is more action than you've see all year."

"Not the kinda action I'm really looking for Dean."

"Can you reach my sleeve? See what it's caught on, 'cos your breaking my damn arm man."

"Wait, I think I got it. No. Wait. Wait."

"Sam!"

"Button on it is stuck through a hole in my jeans, I can't get it out."

"Peachy. Never mind. I'm gonna turn now. Lie still."

"Dean."

"I know Sam, I know. It's my hand dude. I'm almost there. Is this good for you?"

"I swear to God Dean….Dean what is that digging into my back?"

"It's my gun dude, don't flatter yourself."

"Seriously, you need to lay off the burgers man, your ass is getting fat."

"Shut up and slide down now."

"Great!"

"Now what?"

"Now I have one of your hands on my ass and the other on my d…."

"Shut up Sam. Dude I think we're stuck. Can you move up a bit."

"Not with your hand there, I'll dislocate your shoulder if the sleeve doesn't give."

"Who cares!"

"I do. Let's just calm down and think for a minute."

"Hey can you reach your phone?"

"Dropped it earlier."

"Fanfriggin' tastic. Can you reach mine then?"

"Where is it?"

"Guess?"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Crap."

"Hey, I've given you your jollies for the last half hour, least you can do is return the favour."

"Not funny Dean. Are you sure you can't reach?"

"It's in my right pocket and my left shoulder's stuck on the wall. Can't get the angle right to reach it."

"Ok. I need to turn back round."

"Great, now we're spooning. Suddenly I'm kinda glad about where my hand is considering what my backside's pressed up against."

"Shut up and breath in, I can't get my fingers inside. Maybe if I wriggle them."

"SAM!"

"Oh no."

"What now?!"

"Think my bracelet's caught in the pocket lining of your jeans. I can't get my hand back out. Just gonna pull and see if it gives, Damn, I'll try it again. Nope. One more time….."

"Sam, if you don't stop that, this is about to get more embarrassing really quickly."

"Dean!"

"One word Sammy, friction! Can you curl your fingers and see if you can push it out, maybe I can reach it then or you can reach round and get it."

"You want me to reach round?"

"Sam, so help me God, I swear dude……"

"Sorry, couldn't resist. I think I can reach."

"Dude…..crushing me….."

"Sorry, almost there, if I just push with my fingers a little bit more…."

"Sam, you're killing me here man."

"Do you want out of here or not?"

"Phone's a little further over there Sam."

"What? Oh God, sorry, wait I got it. Now what?"

"Can you dial Bobby and get it onto speaker?"

"Think so. Yeah. It's dialling."

"Hey Bobby. It's Dean…….yeah we're kinda stuck on that job you sent us on…..Sam followed it into a drainage pipe and got stuck…..yeah, I'm kinda stuck too….ok….thanks Bobby. "

"We're never living this down are we?"

"Nope. I think there might be pictures taken and everything. That'll be one for the family album!"

"Oh God Dean…..I think I need to….."

"If you pee on my hand Sam, I swear….oh no, did you just….?"

"No."

"Liar! Oh Jesus Christ Sam, what the hell do you eat that makes them smell like that? Oh God, I'm gonna be sick."

"Sorry."

"God, we're gonna be found dead like this aren't we? Me feeling up my brother and you with your hand stuck in my pocket. On the upside though, maybe they'll have to cut open this pipe, then it won't matter 'cos the whole place'll explode."

"Jerk."

"I'd call you my bitch but under the circumstances….SAM….HAND!"

**Chapter End Notes:**

Hugs, Mary xx


	2. Chapter 2

Played around with this for a bit, and came up with this. Hope you like.

1st part - Bobby and Dean

2nd part - JO and Dean

3rd part - Sam and Dean

Same as before, all dialogue!

No really to canon as it mention John and Jo but I hope you'll forgive me! X

* * *

"Well, well, well. Ain't you boys a pretty picture in the torchlight. Winchester sardines, all that's missing is the brine. Wait and I'll get this can opened for ya, after I get a few snapshots o'course."

"Dude told you there'd be pictures. Hey Bobby. Can you stop snapping us and get us out?"

"Dean. Hey Sam. Don't worry boys, just sending this out to a few folks and then I'll be right with you."

"Define a few?"

"Ellen, Ash."

"That all? Why not go for the hat trick and do Jo as well?"

"No need, she's getting the live preview."

"What? Sonuvabitch, hey Jo!"

* * *

"Hey boys."

"Jo."

"Didn't know you guys were into this kind of kinky shit, still, explains you not hitting on me, eh Dean?"

"Bite me bitch."

"You know Dean, I'm the only one that's gonna fit in that pipe and free you boys but I don't think I can help you here after all.

"You wouldn't?"

"Oh I would! You want my help, you ask me nicely!"

"Jo, please can you help get us the hell outta here?"

"Only if your tell me why Sam's hand is in your pocket?"

"I could, but it'd make you blush. Ow, Sam, I mean it, quit it with the hitting."

"Nothing makes me blush Mr Winchester and just remember if Sam's hand is stuck in there, I'm gonna be the one going after it to free it…and I got scissors….sharp ones!"

"I'll be good."

"I know you will honey."

"I'm not a dog Jo, don't pat me on the head."

"Squidge over then and let me down in front of you."

"I'm squidging, is that even a word?"

"Oh God."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just your face and my chest really shouldn't be this well acquainted."

"Didn't think that through did ya?"

"Did you just _lick_ me?"

"Nooooo."

"I swear if you do that again I'm gonna leave you here and phone the fire department to come get you and let them know that you're brothers!"

"I'll behave."

"DEAN! What did I just say?"

"It's my nose Jo, it's on my face where would you like me to put it?"

"Anywhere you like Dean but between my boobs! Face the side or something."

"Fine. Jo? Can you stop pushing me back into Sam?"

"Why, he liking too much or are you?"

"Funny, can you even see what you're doing with those scissors?"

"Nope!"

"Oh God. A little to the left there Jo…please."

"Sam's hand is too far in, I'm gonna have to open your jeans to get room to free him."

"Always knew you wanted into my pants, oh…."

"So help me god if you groan when I move my hand they'll be calling you Deanna!"

"Stop leaning on it then! Jo! JO! That's not funny! Can you play nice and move your hand?"

"Bet you say that to all the girls….almost there…."

"You know…that was my thought exactly….."

"If that's you pleased to see me, I'll think I'll pass on the one night stand, thanks all the same."

"You know you want me! Am I the first guy you've groped in the dark Jo?"

"Dream on! Wait…no…why?"

"Because that hurts! Please for the love of God, can you move your hand back, cause now there's blood not getting to places that really need to be getting it!"

"So that's your excuse now then eh?...Dean? What would you say if I told you my hand was stuck?"

"Are you shitting me!"

"Actually…yeah I am."

"Sonuva….Jo, really, move your damn hand!"

"Relax Dean, just a little snip here and we're done."

"Oh God….that word….snip….don't use that…not when you're down there…and please….be careful!"

"There! I did it. Hold still while I reach round and free your hand now, can you turn a little….no Dean, not that way…oh this is awkward…I think I preferred your face in my chest…"

"Sweetheart, ain't nothing I haven't been this close to before."

"Not when it's part of me you haven't! You so much as sneeze in my direction and I'm gonna gut you with these scissors."

"Soooo bossy, bet the guys all love you…..hey! Sonuvabitch! You cut me! Anymore kinks I should know about here Jo?"

"Gagging'll be next! Look can you turn a little so that I can reach over you, there isn't enough room to move."

"Okay, that better?"

"A little….I just need to be a little further…."

"Jo….."

"I swear to God Dean you even think about doing anything…."

"If you think I can think with where your head is at the moment, you really don't know much about guys…really should have done up my zip first eh?..."

"I know where my head is, that's why I'm warning you, my hands might be behind you but my teeth are just in the right place to inflict serious pain if you so much as breath wrong."

"Holding my breath, Jo can you turn your head just a little so that I don't get dismember for something that really isn't gonna be my fault…."

"That better?"

"Much, thank you."

"Sam baby can you stop wriggling in case I cut you?"

"Didn't care when you cut me…"

"I'm gonna circumcise you if you don't shut the hell up…."

"Oh baby, don't be like that…..seriously people….stop hitting me!"

"Well shut up then!"

"Fine!"

"Fine! And you're free by the way, so if you'll just let me get out of the way first…"

"Jo, can you let Sam get out first?"

"Why?"

"I'd rather have your face closer to my crotch than what he's got digging into my backside closer to it, that's why…"

* * *

"Well that was interesting…"

"We are never speaking of this again, do you hear…."

"Do you think we can take Bobby?"

"Why? Sonuvabitch…..is he still sending out those photos?"

"U-huh."

"Dead man walking…on three….."

"Dean don't hit that button!"

"What'd I do?"

"Sent them to _all_ the contacts in Bobby's phone….."

"Shit, even Dad?"

"Even Dad…."

"So, I hear Canada is nice this time of year…."


End file.
